Day 1

Posted: September 10, 2011 in Diary

Don’t know why I’m writing this. May be I want to share my thoughts or may be I’m too afraid of everything. After watching “Antorjatra”, I asked myself, why? Why I’m so scared of everything. Why I’m here? Why I’m asking myself those questions after everything happened in my life? There is some questions that better left unanswered.

Today I understand how little I know about my father. Today I know that how much I love him. But I can’t understand , Why mom is always trying to hide My Dad’s past from me? Is there anything in his past that Mom afraid to tell me!

After Samyo’s visit, she asked me one question & it seems that she is afraid of something. Something about getting me involved with politics. She asked me indirectly, it means she was afraid of asking the question too. Why mom? Why are you too afraid of me?

As far I know Dad was involved with “Chatro Union” (Union of Student), a left-wing politics of Bangladesh. And that’s all! After and before, only blank. Mom was always protective with us. Don’t involved with any fighting, don’t involved with anything that is not right in the eyes of modern society (its not about right & wrong), never trust anyone etc. But I always failed. Never be the person she always wants. Its not because I am different its because she or my dad was never that kind of person.

There are so many question spinning in my head & I know that some question better left unanswered…


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